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Chunce Whatney | |
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| Biographical and chronological information | |
| Physical and biological description | |
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Species: |
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Gender: |
Male |
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Height: |
6'2 |
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Weight: |
160 lbs. |
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Hair color: |
Black |
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Eye color: |
Brown |
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Skin color: |
Light |
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Affiliation: |
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Occupation(s): |
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Status: |
Alive |
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Marital status: |
Unknown |
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Chunce Whatney is a human male news reporter for the unpopular new service Fish News.
Whatney reported for Fish News as early as 2394 NE, covering the Battle of Limestone, Florida, on Pol Earth while sabotaging competitor news networks, committing various war crimes, and swearing vengeance over the attacking Combine remnant's theft of a Waffle House. He avoided arrest by the Joint Police Agency just barely because of the chaos of the battle around them.
During the Infection War, Whatney was one of the only Fish News reporters in the field during the fighting and was hated by the United Civilizations soldiers he came into contact with for unsafe driving and being a general nuisance in the combat zone. Chunce is considered to be criminally insane and was driven to his breaking point by the Infection War to the point where he violently interviewed UC soldiers after intentionally colliding with their vehicles, even interviewing corpses while undergoing an emotional meltdown and threatening UC soldiers at gunpoint. He was arrested soon after this incident.
History[]
Remnant Wars[]
During the Remnant Wars, a small remnant of the Empire of the Combine Race known as Claws of Reprisal launched an attack on Pol Earth in 2394 NE. The objective was to avenge their emperor Yiloala, but the remnant force's transport ships were all struck by electromagnetic mines when entering low orbit, causing them to land off-course from their original target in the small town of Limestone, Florida.
Chunce Whatney, who was at this time a newer journalist, assumed that the aliens were arriving to compete in the famous local Limestone Pinecone Race. During the events of the Battle of Limestone, Chunce became extremely hostile to other reporters from AAN World News. While he committed several acts of reckless endangerment (among many other offenses) he was never caught or convicted due to the sheer chaos of the battle.
After an Alliance Joint Marine Corps operation with a task force of units of the Joint Police Agency, United States Marine Corps and Earth Defense Force, the Claws of Reprisal were defeated, and Chunce left with a successful story. During the events of the battle, he stole an AAN News van and drove it into battle to recover a Waffle House restaurant that the Claws had stolen for some reason, among other things.
Infection War[]
Chunce Whatney has worked at Fish News for many years before the outbreak of the Infection War. During this time, he was arrested by the Joint Police Agency at least once for unknown reasons before later being released and rejoining Fish News. He was one of Fish News' few reporters in the field during the virus outbreaks across the multiverse.
During one particular incident, he was in the field with a cameraman and being a general nuisance to United Civilizations soldiers, getting in the way of combat operations to violently interview soldiers and give obscure opinions on the state of the fighting. The fighting appeared to drive Chunce to literal insanity, ranting about what he has done for the news, interviewing corpses and ramming UC soldiers and vehicles with a Fish News van. He was quickly arrested by UC soldiers after violently threatening one at gunpoint during his emotional breakdown.
Personality and traits[]
Chunce Whatney is criminally insane, and during the fighting in the Infection War, was able to maintain a somewhat sane appearance for the news, still persisting to be in the way of the UC troopers and giving obscure political opinions. However, as time went on, he began to crack and interviewed corpses and violently attacked and threatened UC soldiers in an emotional breakdown. Chunce Whatney is heavily invested in Fish News and hates any speaking out against him or Fish News, and his actions of hate grew more insane as time dragged on. He also becomes aggressive towards reporters from other news networks, such as AAN News.
Chunce Whatney is fluent in both English and Spanish. Chunce has no knowledge of medical operations and has attempted to replace a Alliance soldier's blood with Dr. Pepper to make him "truly powerful."
Quotes[]
- "Can you get back behind the firing line before I arrest you?"
- "Shut the fuck up. I'm Chunce Whatney."
- —An altercation between a UC soldier and Chunce Whatney in a combat zone.
- "SHUT UP! DON'T CALL ME CHUNCE WHATNEY. Do you know how many years it's taken to build my career? MY IMAGE? I've invested more money into Fish News than the government has invested into missile programs!"
- — Chunce Whatney undergoing an emotion breakdown while threatening a UC soldier at gunpoint.
- "Mr. Government, what can you tell me about why you're trying to shoot people?"
- "..."
- "It seems the government has no comment."
- —Chunce Whatney interviewing the corpse of a UC soldier.
- "There is a moment in every man's life where they have to make a call-- a decision! My decision was to join Fish News! Everyone knows Chunce whether they realize it or not! I've been there since the dawn, and will be here at the end! I reported on the death of Jesus Christ! I AM THE NEWS! I was there when Caesar was borne upon his back, SLAIN AND SLAUGHTERED BY HIS KIN!!!"
- — The second-to-last phase of Chunce's emotional breakdown.
Trivia[]
- (This article is intended to be satire)